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A song from D. Sticker's 30 minute short Caca Candy. The best way to describe this song is: Imagine Dr. Seuss in the shape of a gay pretzel.


Once upon a time, there was a Steve.
He owned a lot of cups, and a jar of pee.

His hair was fast, and his body was lean.
A radiator chest, if you know what I mean.

I ran to Steve's house, with my bike.
He said he had a whopper of a little surprise.

I flew up the stairs, and into his room.
Where there sat Steve, absorbed in a book.

He glanced right up, as I came right in.
And directly behind him, sat this thing.

I said, "Steve, what's that? What makes it go?"
He turned his head slow, and said, "Oh, you know."

"No, no, no. I certainly don't Steve!"
But looking up again, he said it was me.

And I said, "Oh Steve, is that so?
Cause if it is, then make it go."

I crawled right in, and sat in the seat
Of this incredible contraption, that I couldn't believe

I ran all my fingers along it's shaft.
Over the gears, and over my pants...all over my pants!

There was only enough room, for one to seat
But I turned to my side, and there sat Steve.

Well, I'm not quite sure how his body got in there
But his timing was right, and he was definitely there.

"Oh my, Steve! I just cant believe.
How can anyone just devise such a thing?"

He said, "Your question begs to reveal
A little more of you, and less of me."

"Oh Steve, your so deep.
But please, please tell me how you think."

And with a two day pause
He made it clear to me

It all comes from here,
Pointing to his jeans.

Well, "That's life with Steve", the paper's read.
So Merry, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!


from Motion Picture Soundtracks (Archive Series Vol. 2, 1992​-​2002), released January 1, 2006
Written by D. Sticker and performed by D. Sticker Ensemble.


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